Note to self: Carry a cow

Knock knock! Who’s there? Oh hello terrible twos, what’s that? You’ve officially entered my house, well, I’d like you to go please. No, it’s definitely not rude if you leave early, it would honestly be very welcome indeed and no need to call back. That’s it, just shut the door behind you on the way… Continue reading Note to self: Carry a cow

This one’s for you, Miss P!

Having a toddler is a bit like having a feral dog. They’re cute and playful and sweetly loiter around under your feet all day but boy can they be rank. They have sticky paws, toddlers this is, dribble, snot and on occasion are known to sneeze cheese over folk (man on flight back from Faro… Continue reading This one’s for you, Miss P!

It’s nice; like strawberries

Last night my toddler threw up in my mouth. Like actual vomit, right in my mouth. I tasted it. Hell, I think I even swallowed it. According to my husband though it smelt nice; like strawberries. Well, I can 100% assure you it did not taste “nice; like strawberries”, it tasted like real person’s very real sick, right… Continue reading It’s nice; like strawberries