We’re all going on a summer holiday…

No more working for a week or two? Really? Seriously? No more work? What do you mean? Clearly ‘Don’ didn’t have a child. We fly tomorrow and I could not be more ready, for a holiday that is, not actually ready for this one. I have huge, long lists on so many post-it notes stuck on so many surfaces that I actually need to create some sort of superior post-it note which tells me the location of all the other post-it notes so that I know what I still need to do. I have stitches straining on our parental error ‘we only need to pay for one bag’, bag and I just found out that Sudocrem is classed as a liquid so now I need to open said bag and try to squeeze the tub in. I don’t think that’s going to go well. My hand luggage is nappies, my husband’s includes the tranquil turtle and I’m not sure I’ve packed a bra – that’ll be me living in my bikini top all week then. Still, let’s be honest, it’s not like I’m actually going to be heading out to anywhere swanky which will require underwear!

Oh how holidays have changed!

Optimistically I’ve downloaded a few books on my kindle, however, I imagine the extent of my reading will actually be Toot Toot, aka Thomas the Tank Engine, with a soupcon of Kiss Goodnight Sam – I’m desperate for it to be Sam’s favourite book but it just can’t compete with those steamies. I’ve also, for the first time in my life, packed a plastic bag full of washing powder, which looks completely dodgy so I had great fun hiding it in the lining of the case. Now I feel all bad ass!

Am I looking forward to it? You bet! Will I come back relaxed? Jury’s out on that one but for the first time ever I’m hoping that chasing after a toddler will mean I don’t gain all that excess holiday baggage around my hips. I’m also rather excited that it really is okay to start on the G&Ts with toddler tea time on holiday. Hurrah! Although as I opted not to be on the hire car insurance, I guess I could actually sozzle all day… Mr Cuckoo, the childcare is over to you!

I’ve tried to fill Sam’s little hand luggage bag full of things to entertain him on the flight, however, you know that saying about best laid plans and all? so my back up option is to pretend I don’t know him should he start to terrorise the fellow passengers. However, I’m also planning on tucking in to his leftover Dairylea sandwich and pom bears, for my dinner, so not quite sure how that one’s going to work. I’m basically hoping that if it all goes wrong I can calmly keep reminding myself that it’s only two hours of my life and that in reality I’m probably never going to see these folk again. Well, after the return flight, of course.

So, bon voyage! I’ll try to post, sozzling permitting, whilst I’m away and please do keep your fingers crossed for me, for the flight, that the bag doesn’t burst at the seams and that I don’t get my washing powder confiscated and end up in a Portuguese prison cell – well, at least that would be one way to get a bit of peace and quiet I suppose!

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