“It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish” (DIY part 2)

Said Samwise Gamgee (minus the DIY bit, that’s mine!). And wise was he! Which is why we’re almost there! Because we did it! Hurrah for us! However, note the “almost”. Yes, almost I say, not quite. Rather like those pesky rail engineering works; we’re going to overrun. There was talk about working through the night but then fizz, take away and a long, cold shower won and so here I am, on the sofa, feet up (for once over these three days I might add) awaiting that knock at the wet painted (don’t ask, we got bored watching paint dry…) front door, which signifies that for this weekend we are well and truly done!

We survived hey? Hell yeah! And not only did we survive but it’s actually gone pretty well! We’re still married, which I believe is a good thing, we no longer have gold and green swirly wallpaper, which is definitely a good thing and, wait for it…


And didn’t have to do it at 3am like I’d originally thought!

So, other than now being secure in the knowledge that I completely rock at DIY, what else has this weekend taught me…

  1. Masking tape is totally cool. Okay, having to put it on is completely laborious, time consuming and boring but oh. my. word. you just wait until you get to rip that bad boy off – it’s so much fun!
  2. My husband sucks at edging but…
  3. Is way better at washing brushes and all that sort of stuff than I am. I somehow found myself powdering my nose, or some such other random excuse when the tidy up commenced.
  4. Don’t make stock whilst decorating. Just don’t do it. It ends badly.
  5. Whilst it’s fun, it’s probably not the best idea to throw a random, boozy dinner party in the midst of decorating. Thankfully our guests didn’t mind peeing in the same room as a stripper, but still. This actually leads me on to my next point…
  6. I’m bloody good at pissed painting! And I don’t mean this in the same sense as “I’m as good as Beyoncé at dancing when I’ve had a drink” which is not true no matter how many times I utter those words, but I am actually really good at painting after a spot of wine! Coat two was merrily completed this way!
  7. We have the loooooooongest radiator in the entire world. It’s seriously never-ending and because I’m short, slithering along the floor, somewhat like a shedding snake, whilst dragging a paintbrush along a pretty small gap on the mile long rad became my job.
  8. I actually control the weather. It’s true. One reason for picking the bank holiday for our decorating bonanza was that I was certain it would rain, like it has done on every other bank holiday since time began, when I’ve had outdoor plans. Where as this time I had to content myself with gazing longingly out of the window, telling myself that at least the warmth was helping the paint dry. Sigh, When did I grew up so much?

I’m now hungry, thirsty for my fizz and have squatted more times over the course of these last three days than ever before but I’m also feeling pretty proud of myself and what we’ve achieved! So here’s to me! Distinguished DIY-er! Hope you all had a good, DIY free bank holiday weekend! Cheers!


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