No one dreams of miscarriage or baby loss. No one aspires to be infertile. For many, that’s the sad reality.
Infertility, miscarriage and baby loss are battles so many women and couples fight daily. It’s a war none of us want to be a part of, and whose cause is something which is imagined to be the most natural and joyous act achievable ~ to bear a child. Yet in the UK, more than one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, nine babies every day are stillborn, and one in seven couples are known to have difficulties in conceiving.
That’s a lot of shattered dreams.
In many cases this pain goes unspoken. It’s a secret we carry with us. Or a quiet burden we bear, unable to share with others. There’s sadness. There’s shame. There’s grief. There’s guilt. There’s no possible way to understand how such suffering can even be put into words. It can feel impossible. Which is why these desolating, life changing happenings often go silently into the world.
Everyone knows that grief exists, but not everyone is aware that it can be sneaky and good at hiding. How it might, briefly, retreat, only to return in full force when least expected. At times, it’s like a leech sucking the joy out of everything and leaving bitterness where happiness should reside. It can be oppressive, crushing the heart and soul. And it’s a daily battle with triggers – a day dream, an image, the stark, red monthly reminder.
Baby Loss Awareness week is a time we can all seek to understand, to learn and show compassion. I’d ask you to spare a thought for those experiencing devastating sadness. Having a child is a huge happiness and a blessing, and should be celebrated, but sadly it isn’t a happy journey or a given for everyone.
Click here to find out more about the excellent work being undertaken by various charities, and the support available.
The Cuckoo Mama 