“I’m the fun extractor, twisted fun extractor hey hey hey You’re the two year old, my cheeky two year old hey hey hey” Hi there, my name is mummy and I can, pretty much, take all the fun out of every situation. I have therefore decided that, henceforth, I shall be referred to as ‘The … More Make the whoopee mummy
This weekend we hit the road and headed off to a 50th birthday party. Yes, you read it correctly. 50th birthday party. Hmmm, how on earth did I get to the stage whereby I’m now celebrating half centuries of folks wot I know? I’m going to be quick to point out here that the 50 … More Crocodiles and chorizo
My home is akin to a war zone. It is completely and utterly covered, from top to bottom, in debris from whatever nuclear fallout exploded above us. Everywhere I look is covered with mayhem, the fragments of a former life peeking through patiently, waiting to be rediscovered and restored to former glory. Well that ain’t … More Zero Dark Thirty-Something
Knock knock! Who’s there? Oh hello terrible twos, what’s that? You’ve officially entered my house? Well, I’d like you to go please. No, it’s definitely not rude if you leave early, it would honestly be very welcome indeed and no need to call back. That’s it, just shut the door behind you on the way … More Note to self: Carry a cow
Having a toddler is a bit like having a feral dog. They’re cute and playful and sweetly loiter around under your feet all day but boy can they be rank. They have sticky paws, toddlers this is, dribble, snot and on occasion are known to sneeze cheese over folk (man on flight back from Faro … More This one’s for you, Miss P!